For the first time since I have been old enough, I wasn't going to vote this year. Early in the election extravaganza it seemed that whoever won would be an improvement and I felt that both candidates were qualified. Then came Sarah Palin, give me a friggin break! Is there a dumber bimbo on the face of the planet? I started realizing that the McCain I respected had sold out to the religious right and it disgusted me. My only reservations about Obama were that I didn't know much about him and my interest in politics is so low that I didn't want to spend the time finding out. Well, try and keep your head in the sand when there is a US presidential election and see how well you do. I read a little, watched a little, listened a little and started feeling much better about the man.

I tend to make decisions by figuring out what is the worst case scenario, then what are the chances it will be better than that. Worst case with Obama is that the US gains a little of the respect it has lost in the eyes of the rest of the world and that's all that happens. Best case is that things really improve in my homeland. On the other hand, worst case with McCain and the bimbo is that the religious right kills McCain as quickly as possible after the election and puts their puppet girl in office, another 4 years just like the last 8 years, same rulers, different puppet. I think that would be very likely to happen. It scares me and it depresses me, the more I watched her fans the more likely it looked. McCain has seemed to crumble, he sold himself and he knows it and he's screwed no matter what happens.

Still, that's not what made me decide I had to vote. It was this ugly, hate mongering proposition 8 in California that did it. I wish someone could explain to me how 2 people who love each other and want to marry could destroy some other couple's marriage. It's not like there are going to be armies of homosexuals in the suburbs of Fresno trying to steal husbands. Or, do they believe that? I have no clue.

Mimi and I have been Domestic Partners in California for a dozen or more years and I have no desire to have a marriage. In my mind, marriage is kind of irrelevant and should be a strictly religious affair with no legal rights attached. Keep them separate, that's how I think it should be. However, I do think we should have all of the same rights, responsibilities and tax breaks that are available to any other 2 people who are willing to commit to each others support. So, at first, I wasn't really interested in Prop 8 either, but then I couldn't avoid the media and the really hateful stuff I was reading disgusted me. Next, I began to get the notices from people I love that truly did desire to have a marriage and a blessing by their faith and their friends over their union.

Our friends Mary and Elaine are one of these couples. They are the finest people I've had the privilege to know. They have been together for 29 years, they've raised 4 children, they've worked hard and paid their taxes and been upstanding citizens all their lives. Their love for each other is a beautiful thing to be around, it blesses everyone who knows them.

They were married this past Saturday with hundreds of friends, their families, their children and a grandchild there to celebrate with them. I so wish that Mimi and I could have been there too, we raised a toast to them that day from Merida. How can this affirmation of such a lasting and positive love be a threat to anyone? How can anyone be so hateful that they would deny these wonderful people the right to this ceremony that has so much meaning to them?

Mimi and I decided we really had to vote after all. Luckily, friends were flying in and could bring us our absentee ballots which were waiting for us in California. Other friends were flying out to New York and have taken our ballots and will send them overnight, express mail to our polling place in Marin.

I was wrong to think that I could ignore my responsibility to vote. I was wrong to think that because I live in Mexico now I didn't have to care what happened in the US. It was a selfish thought, selfish because I have people I love who still live there, selfish because when it really came down to the wire I realized that my homeland is just that, my home, my land, my people and my responsibility. Whatever happens, I have to shoulder my share of the result and I can't turn my back on the land that molded me and the culture that shaped me. There are times though when it is difficult to understand how my country has become so divided and so full of hate - how can you say you love your country when you hate so many of your countrymen?